I have been in town for the past 3 weeks in a row. That is a rare thing at our house. My husband handles most of the family duties while I work for an insurance company. I am in a Director level position and enjoy the work most of the time. The kids enjoy having my husband as a stay at home parent with them. He also coaches football at the Middle School and takes the boys to all of their practices.

Yesterday, I had my 8 year old, James, at his lacrosse game. My husband had the 14 year old at football practice. We spend most Saturdays this way. We tend to use the divide and conquer approach. About a month ago, my ex-husband changed jobs to one where he travels for weeks at a time. Todd had gotten back into Atlanta on Friday and the boys were ready to see their Dad.

After lacrosse, James borrowed my cell to call Todd. He gave him the bad news that our undefeated lacrosse team had gone down. Our very disappointed 8 year old was having a bad day. He asked his Dad to meet us for lunch since he had not seen him in weeks. I spoke with Todd for a few minutes and we worked out the logistics of how to get all of us together for a mid-day meal.

James and I were the first ones to arrive at the restaurant. It was  a sports oriented family restaurant with TV's everywhere. Everybody at my house is competing with their March Madness brackets, so we were interested in keeping up with our progress. The 8 year old is actually beating all of us. This year it seems like people that know less about basketball are doing the very best.

Todd and Jason were next to arrive. They immediately proclaimed that they have never eaten at one of these places. This particular restaurant has a location near their house. It is also the place that our football team eats every Saturday after the game. Occasionally, I am reminded that Todd and I live very different lives. I just tend to forget that at times.

My husband and Ray arrived last for lunch. We ended up sitting in a booth with 3 on each side. The kids were really excited to see their Dad. We all sat there and discussed college basketball. Todd reminded us that he doesn't follow sports at all. When we were married, we had the sports stations blocked from our TV. After the divorce, I renewed my interest in sports. I ended up marrying an old college football player, so my whole household watches sports several times a week.

We then changed the conversation to travel. The boys are spending spring break with Todd and he is working through the plans. Right now, he is wanting a driving trip that involves some fishing and a cabin in the mountains. The boys are a little crabby about it, but are warming up to the idea of fishing.

It was during this lunch that I became a little introspective. I realized how much we all change when we are with someone. I was married to Todd for 14 years and we almost never watched sports. I immediately unblocked it from the TV during the divorce and decided to embrace what I like. Part of the compromise of marriage is finding things that you like together. Being so young when I got married, I had never really thought about what I wanted...my identity was as a "we". After the divorce, I spent a few years finding myself. Realizing I like cooking for instance (I am insanely passionate about good food. I cook my way through stressful times) and I really enjoy live sporting events.

I also realized how much Todd had compromised during those years too. He clearly was gay the entire time. Our passions were not the same, and yet we found things that made us happy. I looked at him and Jason though and realized he has now found his interests. He and Jason walked out of the restaurant ahead of me. Todd seemed more comfortable in his skin than I have ever seen him.

I had a moment to think about how far we have really come in the past 6 years. I wonder how many of us have had those same moments.